I'm Sick

I've come down with a cold, which is stupid because it's July. It's sort of like dying of dehydration in the ocean: It sounds impossible, but it's actually not as stupid as it sounds. You moron.

You see, in much the same way that the ocean contains undrinkable salt-water and thus makes it very difficult to remain hydrated if you don't have that piss-purifying contraption that Kevin Costner had in water world, the Common Cold isn't actually caused by cold at all, but a bunch of viruses that infect your upper respitory system and make you cough and wheeze and all of those other horrible things. Come to think if it, those things aren't actually "much the same" in any real way. I'm talking out of my ass.

My sick, sick ass.

My ass is sick, yo.

-The Management