I want to say something profound

I want to say something profound. I want to be quotable.

50 years after my death, I want a comment I made in passing at a cocktail party to be displayed proudly on middle America's bumper. I want my musings plastered on a poster in someone's cubicle next to the cat that says "hang in there". I want to be inspirational, thought-provoking, clever and hilarious all wrapped up in one convenient package. I want to see something I did being praised and not lay claim to it. I want to be the guy that all the people I hate adore. I want to be the guy that all the people I like hate. I want to be known, not by name, but as the person who said that. I want my words to live longer than I do. I want my words to live longer than themselves.

And I don't want to look like a douche while I'm doing it.