Twisted Metal

Last night I crashed my car. Not content with just ruining my own singular mode of transportation, I also went ahead and ruined someone else's in the process.

Eye-Witness Account

The experience was harrowing to say the least. A car crash isn't really the sort of thing you plan for (I think that's called vehicular man-slaughter) so needless to say, I was kind of caught off-guard. The thing about driving is that you wouldn't really be going 45+ miles per hour were it not for the steel container carrying you. The other thing about that is, when that metal hazard stops going suddenly, you do not. For those of you unfamiliar with the basic laws of physics, what this means is, if I hadn't been wearing my seatbelt I might have flown on the windshield face-first. Instead, what I did was lurch forward violently until my head connected with the steering wheel, at which point my head bounced and (apparently not content with a single helping of blunt-force trauma) went back for another.

I've often found (and honestly, this is probably just adrenaline) that after what should have been a very debilitating occurrence (on prior example was the time I accidentally jumped my friends mini-bike. I ended up doing some sort of superman thing mid-air, which was probably pretty impressive until the bike flew out from underneath me and I landed flat on my stomach) I can often hop right back to my feet. This instance was no exception. I hit the other car and leapt out of my own in what I can only describe as a heroic fashion, pausing to inspect the damage on the way. This is what I found:

Along with the obvious cosmetic damage to the front of the car, there were glass and metal shards littering the general area and an unknown fluid leaking out onto the ground. I couldn't see it, but the inside of the smashed machine sounded like someone had turned on a faucet, so I had to assume the radiator had burst or something. As for me, I managed to get out with little more than a bump on my forehead and severely damaged pride. The police were really cool about everything; I'd stupidly left my wallet at home that evening and had to run it to the police station that later in the night, and some numbness in my left side warranted a trip to the emergency room but everything worked out all right all things considered.

Sincerest apologies to the man's car that I smashed up. You're free to hate me. I would if I were you.

-The Management

A Dialogue With a Blog: Blog's Response

Oh... Salacious. It's you.

You've got a lot of nerve, coming here at this hour, asking me to take you back. It's been quite a while, and I was just starting to get over you. The neglect you put me through.

It was... Unbearable.

You want to write on me again? I don't know about that, Salacious. Maybe, we can hang out sometime get some coffee or something, but until I know what's what... I just don't know if I'm ready for that.

Though... I must confess, I do still think about you sometimes.... Late at night... When there's no one to write on me, I remember you. You weren't the best, but you did fine, and, to be honest, I found your flustered, floundering style sort of endearing... The reason I had such a hard time being ignored by you is because... I really miss you!

Oh, who am I kidding! I can't make you jump through these stupid hoops!

Write on me, Salacious! Write one me now!

-The Blog