Ancient Chinese Secret, Huh?

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The Chinese were pretty awesome at crafting fables. Seriously. They rocked. It's impressive how they're lessons are still pretty applicable today.

For example:

The Tigers and the Strawberries

A Meaningless Meandering Special Presentation

Paraphrased by the Meaningless Meandering Staff

Once long ago there was a man who was approached by a ferocious tiger. Being that he was of sound mind and body, he of course did exactly people are always told not to do when confronted by a man-eating animal: Run away. The tiger, being the sleek killing machine it is, followed it's instincts and gave chase. The pair tore across the plains, the man's will to live apparently more inspiring than the tigers desire to get some dinner. Hey. Somebody should tell that tiger to lay off the fast food. (press button)

The man ran as fast as he could until he came to a steep cliff. The tiger was approaching quickly and with little other option, the man jumped from the ledge. Falling and assuming he'd finally given the tiger the slip, he saw as he fell that the tigers had tricked him. There was one tiger above him, the one that had chased him, and below him, sat another tiger waiting to eat him whole. "Resorting to trickery and out-numbering me?" Thought, the man as he fell, "Finally I see the tiger's true stripes!" (press button) The man swiftly grabbed onto a branch and held on with all his might. He knew that his grip wouldn't hold on forever, and that eventually, he'd fall down to the tiger below and be eaten. Sitting and pondering his inevitable death, the man took notice of a strawberry hanging from one of the branches. He reached out for the strawberry and plucked it from the branch.

It was the sweetest strawberry he'd ever eaten.

It's a story about a man with horribly mis-placed priorities.

I mean, come on! This man shouldn't stop thinking about these tigers to enjoy a strawberry. Foolish man. This story is about how people today need to pay more attention to their surroundings. Think of how many car accidents would be avoided if we told this story in Driver's Ed.

Feel free to draw your own conclusions about this tale. I've never claimed to be infallible.